...Even Though We're Just Dancing In The Dark

I have been listening to a ton of Bruce Springsteen lately. I have always found his lyrics to be really good. Not just in a sense as, "Hey he writes well." Its a lot like country in the fact that the lyrics tell stories of running away, lost loves, having good times with friends, and the like. Only recently I have read his lyrics in depth and have noticed some parallels with my life/situation. Most notibley his song Dancing in the Dark. The lyrics read as follows:

I get up in the evening, and I aint got nothing to say
I come home in the morning, I go to bed feeling the same way
I aint nothing but tired, man Im just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help

You cant start a fire, you cant start a fire without a spark
This guns for hire even if were just dancing in the dark

Message keeps getting clearer, radios on and Im moving round the place
I check myself out in the mirror I wanna change my clothes my hair my face
Man I aint getting nowhere just livin in a dump like this
Theres something happening somewhere baby I just know that there is

You cant start a fire, you cant start a fire without a spark
This guns for hire even if were just dancing in the dark

You sit around getting older theres a joke here somewhere and its on me
Ill shake this world off my shoulders come baby this laugh's on me
Stay on the streets of this town and theyll be carving you up alright
They say you got to stay hungry hey baby Im just about starving tonight
Im dying for some action Im sick of sitting round here trying to write This book
I need a love reaction come on now baby give me just one look

You can't start a fire sitting 'round cryin' over a broken heart
This gun's for hire even if we're just dancing in the dark
You can't start a fire worryin' about your little world fallin' apart
This gun's for hire even if we're just dancing in the dark

The first three lines of the song hit home the most to me. I have reflected the exact same way he feels: I don't have anything to say to anyone, I'm tired and bored with myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not wallowing in my own sorrow (I'm off to write that hit song, Alone In My Principles), I'm just simply getting sick of the routine I have made for myself (and so is The Boss apparently). Other lines that jab right into the deepest pits of me are:

I check myself out in the mirror I wanna change my clothes my hair my face Man I aint getting nowhere just livin in a dump like this Theres something happening somewhere baby I just know that there is.

Maybe I'm not the only one unhappy about the situation I'm in. I can chant along to the line: I wanna change my clothes my hair my face as long as I have breath in my body. I get up every morning look at the mess of hair I have, put a hat over it, and go about my day. I am not happy with most of my wardrobe (on the sole fact that if someone else bought the same thing I did, they would probably look better in it. CURSE THESE WIDE BIRTH GIVING THIGHS!!!) The boss, judging by his lyrics and the time this was written, wasn't too happy with himself either. He knew there was something wrong with himself and he knew there had to be a way to change, but he didn't know how. He ran. Ran from himself, and his loved ones, trying to lose the person he was. But he realizes that you can't change like that. He sat around and waited, searching for something that would change his life. The title of the song is perfectly named, Dancing in the Dark.



In quick closing, if you're having a crummy, shit, down and out, slumdog of a day, listen to bruce springsteen. 8 times out of 10, you'll cheer up. Start your day out with this video and you'll feel like you can do anything:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rGFfO5fUvE

The Two Bad Positives:

- Drug Tests
- Std Tests

I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive.

An Update From My Big Mouth

I know I haven't kept up with this like I thought I would, but hey, I'm making an attempt (that's more than most can say). These passed few days (about a week) have been a whirlwind. I caught some disgusting virus, drove all the way back home (Chesapeake, Va) for a dentist appointment, tried to loosen up and have a few drinks, but that didnt work out, I'm behind in behind in school work and I met a girl (its not as gay as it sounds). I thought this semester would be a lot easier but it is turning out to be a continuum of last semester.

I felt fine Wednesday night, but woke up feeling like a fresh pile of ox diarrhea. My throat was a dark bruised red and my head felt like someone put my head in a woodclamp. I got an appointment at the VCU doctor's office for 3:00 pm. I get there 5 minutes late due to sheer groginess and the innability to walk at a swift place. The doctor sees me, and does the standard strep test (an oversized cotton swab crammed down your gag hole... Nothing out of the ordinary). It came back negative, so they did a flu test.
Apparently, the flu test has changed since the last time I had one (its been awhile since I've had the flu, so who knows what other shit they did). They took another oversized swab and instead of lunging it down my throat, I had to take it up the nose. Imagine being a terrorist at Gitmo, and they can't do anything really tortuous to you, but they have a surplus of long cotton swabs and decided to get creative. That is exactly what it felt like. The swab was about 8 inches long, and the doctor put about a good 6 inches of it up my snort-hole. I freaked and pulled her hand away, and pulled the swab out myself, which wasn't pleasant because I think it might have soaked up some brain juice it was so far up there. I finally pull through and it ends up not being the flu but just some annoying virus. I've been coughing up nothing but alien-like mucus since they gave me the meds.

The drive back home to Chesapeake was a drag. This was a day after the doctor and I still felt like ox waste. The drive down 64 from Richmond to chesapeake can be described my one word: Trees. From the minute you leave Richmond from your sights until you reach Hampton Roads there is nothing but a thick tree line. Talk about tunnel vision. Thank god I had my iPod and cigarettes. For fans of hardcore, I'll let you know I was trying to find my position on the on-going debate of which band was better: No Warning or Guns Up! (musically, vocally, and everything else, they could practically be the same band. I'm sure Ben Cook of No Warning has something to say about that). Anyway, I finally get home and have an old lady pick at my teeth and bleed my gums for about an hour. She asks about a tooth that has a noticable chip in it. I didn't want to explain that it broke from being at a FVK show, then slightly chipped from hitting myself in the face with a microphone and then hit in the face again by some dude, so i just told her I bit through a jawbreaker (that seemed to work).

These passed two weeks have been a parching dry-spell for me and by buddy Al Key Hall. I have gotten noticeably tipsy one night and I havent found time to drink since. School is stressing me out because its too easy, which is making me stress out because I feel like I'm doing something wrong, or not doing enough. So by the end of every week, I feel like The Worrier who just runs around worrying about everything. I haven't had/found the chance to kick back and drink a few brews since. I'm not an alcoholic by any means, but it is time to LOOSEN UP AND LOCK OUT.

My one tipsy night flows into the night I met this great girl. Her name is Ashlie, and she goes to VCu as well. She sent me her number and that night was the night we physically met. I immediately connected with her and we hit it off. We went to my friends Lance, Mike and Chandler's house. Since they haven't had any heat since the cold set in, we huddled into Chandler's room on the top floor. It has the most room and we put some space heaters in to keep warm. Ashlie and I cuddled on the bed (I love cuddling. The feeling of someone's embrace is someone thing I can't get enough of. I am a hugger). We shared a 40oz of Steel Reserve and I chugged some Hurricanes. On the way back to her place I asked if I could stay with her (I have NEVER asked that before. I always feel like a complete douche asking). Thankfully, she said yes and we headed back. The minute we got into the elevator on the parking we couldn't stoping kissing. It was great actually connecting with someone and not having one-night-stands. I'm not a big fan of those for some reason. We get into her living room and continued what we stopped when the elevator opened. We didn't have sex, just pecked and held each other. I know some douche reading this is immediately going to think, "YOU COULDA SCOARD BRA!" It wasn't my mission to meet this girl, get her drunk, and have sex with her. I knew I wouldn't be able to "finish" anyway since I pretty intoxicated, so we left it at that and went to bed.

HOWS THAT FOR A FUCKING UPDATE!!!!

music fans, I am currently listening to:
Fucked Up - Hidden World
Guns Up! - Outlive
No Warning - Ill Blood
Cruel Hand - Prying Eyes
An Albatross - The An Albatross Family Album

...check these out if you haven't already. But if you're into hardcore or anything of the sort, you'd have to be sheltered as fuck to have not have heard these by now. Well, except An Albatross. But they're sweet. listen to them.

The First Post

Hey I'm Knox Colby, and this is my blog. Its the second day of the spring semester at VCU. Class is alright (STAT 208, Human Spirituality, Astronomy, and Focused Inquiry II). I got a new bike, and added rainbow lights to the wheels. They are motion sensored, so the minute you hit the road at night, the lights go off in flashes of different neon colors (by law its required to have lights on your bike at night, and how more ovious could be than rainbows lights at night?).

My first day was a complete failure, however. I missed a class, popped a bike tube, forgot to buy my books for a class, and forgot to do an assignment over the winter break for Monday. Shit was awful.
The point of this blog is to keep a log of rediculous/funny/memorable things that I have said/done or people have said/done. Furthermore, its is for me to look back on and be able to see everything I've done (since I have a hard time rememberign little things I liked from a month ago or so) through my years in college.
I dont think people will look at this. This is basically for personal use only, but feel free to read all the stories I will put in here for your amusement.


-Knox R. Colby